or oral-genital sex means both
mouth contact with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the
penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from a Latin word for vulva (a woman's
exterior sex organs), cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes
from the Latin word fellare, meaning to suck. Either form of oral sex can be done with one
partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can stimulate each other's
genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given simultaneously is commonly called 69, or, the
French translation, soixante-neuf. This is because the body position of a couple having
mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69. Cunnilingus and fellatio are common sexual
behaviors for both same sex couples and couples of different sexes. There are various
combinations of positions and techniques used in oral sex, but it is the mouth and tongue
that provide the pleasure in all cases. Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel
good anywhere on the genitals of both men and women. The pressure (light, firm, and in
between), speed (fast, slow, or changing), and the type of motion used can be varied
endlessly to produce different sensations. In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of
the mouth and the tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing,
stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of stimulation. In one
fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick Trick, the "trick" is to tease the
underside of the penis head almost imperceptibly with the very tip of the tongue, just
making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive area in one light upward lick,
and then backing off for about fifteen seconds between each lick. This trick has been said
to result in a powerful ejaculation in a very short time. Other methods of fellatio
include sucking the glans or shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the mouth, licking at
various parts of the penis and scrotum, or nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men
enjoy having the scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath the
scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.
Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio because they have a sensation of
gagging when they take the erect penis into their mouth. This real physiological event,
known as the gag reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in the
throat. If a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far into his partner's mouth,
the gag reflex may take over. One way to avoid this problem is for the person giving the
oral sex to grasp the penis along the shaft to control how much of it enters the mouth.
Another common objection to fellatio is having the man ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A
couple can agree in advance to have the man remove his penis from his partner's mouth
before ejaculation. Others don't mind. They either rinse the ejaculate from their mouth
right away or they swallow it. The ejaculate, on average about 4 cc, consists of proteins
and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories.
Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can be performed in many ways. Women's preferences vary,
but commonly enjoyed techniques include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more
rapid, focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a rougher fashion.
Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with fingering
of the vagina; licking and kissing of the lips just outside the vagina; having the tongue
thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having the clitoris stimulated by hand (her
own or her partner's) while oral stimulation is directed at other parts of the genitals.
Not everyone has or enjoys oral sex. Many people who try it enjoy oral sex, but others
have reservations about it. These reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that
oral sex is unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it is not a
true expression of femininity or masculinity.
With regard to the matter of hygiene and oral sex, neither vaginal fluid nor semen is
harmful in any way. This of course is true only in persons who are not infected with a
sexually transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they themselves and their
partners are free from STDs before engaging in any sexual activity. No disease can be
passed by oral sex that wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind of sex. If one partner
has a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they do together sexually. In short,
oral sex between healthy people is safe and clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns
some people is genital odor. Simply washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for
any sex, including oral sex. It is not necessary for women to douche before having oral
sex, but some women choose to do so. However, douching can wash away the helpful bacteria
that naturally protect the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the
genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with women, thorough washing
can reduce this odor, and besides, many people find some degree of genital odor in their
partner stimulating.
The notion that oral sex is taboo discourages some people from ever trying it. Oral sex
has long been frowned upon and often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval
and legal restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some are still
very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any of the major Western religions
can therefore feel confused and guilty about engaging in oral sex, despite their knowledge
that it is a safe and appropriate form of sexual expression. In the end, each individual
must decide for him or her self whether to stick to the teachings of his or her religion
or to act in favor of what seems personally right for them.
For some people, the issue is not conflict with their religious beliefs as much as it
is a belief that it somehow compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people
incorrectly think that cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if experienced
by heterosexual couples. While homosexual couples do engage in oral sex, so do a majority
of heterosexual couples. The activity itself is neither homosexual nor heterosexual. Apart
form the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality, women sometimes feel that
performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as if they are giving a service and are
thereby inferior. Men sometimes feel that performing oral sex on their partner reduces
their masculinity because their penis is not involved. Couples should openly discuss these
issues, and if necessary seek the help of a qualified therapist.
Fortunately, many people are free of negative feelings about oral sex and have chosen
to include it in their sexual repertoire. However, it is just as okay to choose not to
participate in oral sex as it is to do so. Oral sex, just like any other sexual behavior,
is a matter of personal preference.