About SEX
About Masturbation for MEN
About Masturbation for WOMEN
About Masturbation for MEN and WOMEN


About Male Masturbation

Virtually all males masturbate, though some more frequently than others. Masturbation usually continues throughout adulthood, even when other forms of sexual activity are available. Most adolescent males are very embarrassed their self-stimulation activities. Only a small percentage of male adolescents discuss their masturbation even with close male friends, and most are terrified that their friends will find out. Many are also terrified that they will be " discovered in the act" by a parent. So, many adolescent males learn to get it over quickly, to minimize the chance of being discovered. Only later in life do they learn that the ability to delay orgasm is very important to learn in order to maximize sexual pleasure. So all the "quickie" techniques must be unlearned.


Although as a man ages, the frequency of masturbation tends to gradually decline, but continues even for most married men. Some men believe they should not do this when they have opportunities for sexual activity with their partners and therefore try not to masturbate, in part, because they believe that masturbation implies partner rejection. As a result, they try to hide this from their wives (often by picking times and places where their wife is not around. But I have visited with a number of men who have wives who are quite aware of their husband's masturbation practices and, indeed, encourage it. Some of the most happily married men I have encountered are those whose wives enjoy mutual masturbation, which becomes a regular part of the sexual activity.

Part of the psychological problem that most men face is that this is a difficult subject to bring up with a partner, because any expressed interest in masturbation might be interpreted by the partner as a form of rejection. The men who have gotten past this point with their wives almost invariably report having a very satisfactory sex life. A favorite male sex fantasy is getting the opportunity to watch a woman masturbate, and many woman find watching men masturbate to be sexually exciting, once they get over any hangups with the basic idea. Unattached single men, and gay men, of course, tend to masturbate more frequently than married men. For gay men in a relationship, mutual masturbation is a primary sexual outlet, if not the primary one.

While it is true that some women my interpret their male partner's interest in masturbation as a form of rejection, other women may interpret this somewhat differently. By masturbating in front of the woman, the man is sharing the most personal of all activities. That a man is willing to do this with a partner is an expression of love, not rejection. Thus, mutual masturbation could be a highly erotic and loving activity for men and women. It could also be something regularly done at the initial stages of love making.

Masturbation Techniques

Men employ a variety of masturbation techniques. The simplest technique is to begin by simply squeezing the penis. Once the penis becomes semi-erect, stroking normally takes place, from tip to base. By concentrating at first on the base of the penis and avoiding the tip permits the erection to proceed and is a basic technique for delaying ejaculation.

The entire groin area, including the penis, scrotum and the groin itself, gradually becomes more sensitive to the touch. Once the erection is underway, many men enjoy gently pressing on and massaging the scrotum. Gentle touch anywhere within the area can be sexually exciting, and even on other parts of the body, such as the male nipples.

Some men prefer to masturbate while lying prone on a bed, with the underside of the penis rubbing against the bed.

Many men enjoy masturbating using a lubricant, rather than dry. Pre-ejaculate is an excellent lubricant, although the supply may be somewhat limited. Hand lotion or vaseline can be used, though, since these contain oils, they are probably not the best choice if intercourse with a condom is to follow. A clear, water based gel, such as KY gel, is made for this purpose and does not destroy condoms.

Some men enjoy using devices while masturbating -- a vibrator, a shower massage unit or similar. Many of these devices produce an interesting, though short-lived effect. A shower massage unit or tub jet, for example, puts stimulation on the penis such that the feeling is much like having a giant vacuum cleaner sucking the semen out of the body. The whole thing is over in about 30 seconds, even without much of an erection. Interesting, but not something one might want to do on a regular basis,

Then there is masturbation employing articles of clothing, which can also be classified as a sexual fetish.


About Female Masturbation

Masturbation is a natural and healthy method of sexual release engaged in by most people of both sexes. It is also a good way of learning one's own sexual response. Women who can bring themselves to orgasm by masturbating are more likely to have orgasms with their partners, and men who can masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculating are less likely to suffer from problems of premature ejaculation during intercourse. Stimulating your partner's genitals is also called masturbation, and is an important part of lovemaking.

The external female genitals are called the vulva. Pubic hair grows on the labia majora, and inside these outer vaginal lips are the labia minora, which are pinker and moister. If the sight of your own genitals is not familiar to you, examine them in a hand mirror while you relax after a bath or shower. The clitoris is situated where the labia minora join at the top. It is a pink knob about the size of a dried pea, and is highly sensitive. The clitoris is protected by a hood, which retracts during sexual arousal. Below the clitoris is the tiny opening of the urethra, through which urine passes, and below that is the opening to the vagina.

When you start to masturbate, make sure you have plenty of time during which you won't be interrupted. Go somewhere where it is quiet, completely private, and warm. Some women like to lie on their back, some on their front; some like their legs pressed tightly together, others like them spread wide apart, or propped up above the body. Use a lubricant and stroke yourself gently, with your fingers or an object such as a vibrator, varying your movements from time to time to find out where and how you like to be stimulated.

Many women find the clitoris too sensitive for direct stimulation, so you could begin by rubbing the whole vulva, then gradually move inside with delicate fingers. Allow yourself to fantasize to increase arousal. Be patient, but if the pleasure wears off without you having had an orgasm then you should stop. Don't be disappointed with yourself, as it may take several sessions before you can relax enough to really let go.

When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm is on the way. Continue to stimulate yourself, as if you stop, these sensations will fade and it may be difficult to get them back again. The clitoris becomes increasingly sensitive as you proceed, whether you are stimulating it directly or not, and then orgasm breaks out with waves of vaginal contractions. Most women like some form of genital contact during orgasm: either continued stimulation or pressing or holding the vaginal area. Some like to insert a finger into the vagina as they come.


About Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation need not be something that you do only when you are alone. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. It can also be very instructive to discover how your partner reaches orgasm alone, as this will be the best method for you to adopt when you are masturbating him or her. Masturbating with your partner will break down inhibitions and allow you to get even closer.

Masturbating your partner in the way he or she enjoys is an important part of lovemaking, and many women like being masturbated to orgasm before penetration. Both men and women need to learn how to handle each other's genitals with tenderness and sensitivity.

Copyright 1998